Mediation for divorce, a requirement where there is any contested issue, covers a lot of emotional territory. If you can make some decisions together, make some compromises, listen to each other's point of view, you will be surprised in the end how satisfying it can be that you have worked the issues out. There is "stuff", like the furniture and Aunt Minnie's needlepoint. Sometimes there are assets, like bank accounts and pensions and houses and ATVs. Sometimes there are debts, or taxes to be paid. The judge is likely going to cut things down the middle, but in mediation you have the opportunity to be creative and even generous.
By far one of the most important issues in divorce concerns your children. You want what is best, what is least disruptive for them. You need to consider parent time, living arrangements, education, religion and medical care for the children of the marriage. All issues related to children need to be made with the best interests of the children foremost. Parents need to communicate frequently for at least the first 18 years of their children’s lives, and mediation is a place to start that dialogue and set a pattern for making it less acrimonious in the future. Mediation enables you to keep your eye on the prize … whatever is in the best interests of your children. You know them best. You know what they need. Do you really want a judge to decide their future? It takes compromise, communication, and cooperation but it is an empowering feeling to know that you are in charge of their destiny, and your own.